Want to know a secret?

I am tired of love.

Ouch! That sounds like such a cold thing to say doesn’t it?

The truth is that I am not tired of love itself, but society’s diverse and puzzling interpretations of it. Think about this simple question and try to give me an answer:


No seriously- what is it? We say we “love” a lot of things: that guy, that girl, that slice of pizza, that TV show, that friend, that family member, that class, that picture, that dog…and the list goes on.

Whether it’s addressing a person or a pizza, we hear the term used almost incessantly every day. This blatant overuse of the word has ultimately muddled its true meaning in society. We have gotten to a point where the definition is just extremely ambiguous and unclear. More than anything else, it has really come to be defined as more of a generalized feeling. So to figure out the root of what love really is beyond this simple “feeling” idea, I asked God. Although I shouldn’t be, I was shocked that He answered so directly. Just a couple days later, I randomly flipped to these words spoken by Jesus in my Bible:

“As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. 10 If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love. 11 I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. 12 My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. 13 Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. 14 You are my friends if you do what I command. 15 I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. 16 You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit—fruit that will last—and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you. 17 This is my command: Love each other.

-John 15:12-17 (emphasis added)

Jesus makes love’s definition super clear in this text. If reading it was too much, here’s an easy summary of what Jesus says about love:

HOW TO REMAIN IN GOD’S LOVE? Keep His commands.

(note: the word “remain” here does not mean that you must love others perfectly at all times in order for God to love you. It is referring to a life that is most saturated in God’s love when loving others like He does.)

HOW TO KEEP HIS COMMANDS? Love one another.

HOW TO LOVE ONE ANOTHER? Lay down your life for your friends.

So this is love defined by God- whose definition is the ONLY one that matters. It isn’t just a feeling you have about someone. It is an ACTION. And if you really think about it, love without action is useless. If you say you “love” someone but are not willing to DO anything for them as a result of that love, what’s the point? When feelings just stay and float around in your head, your supposed “loved” is largely stagnant. This statement is an easy way to remember this:

Love isn’t love unless it MOVES…

{Moves The Holy Spirit. Moves PEOPLE. & Moves YOU….to real ACTION.}

You know that common phrase, “it’s the thought that counts”? I think it’s a lie we are all blindly living in. It’s NOT the thought that counts! It’s the ACTION as a result of the thought that truly MEANS anything to us.

It’s one thing to say over social media, a text, or even verbally that you love someone. However, showing up to an event to celebrate them when you really didn’t have to come is different. So is driving a long distance simply to hold them in your arms and tell them face to face: “everything is going to be okay.” So is buying them ice cream after a long day. So is laughing at their jokes till both of your stomachs hurt. So is setting aside whatever you had planned for yourself in order to put their needs first.

This is selfless action.

This is laying down one’s life for one’s friends.

This is what Jesus called us to do.

This is REAL LOVE.

& It’s beautiful….no greater life exists.

[to be clear: this is NOT a like on a picture, a retweet, a friend request, a snapchat, or a celebratory Instagram post]


//So let’s change love’s definition in 2017. Make it a VERB, not a feeling. What would happen to marriages if love was seen as an action eliciting commitment again? “Love” based purely on physical attraction fades, but love through action does not. & to close, I’ll leave you with a quote from Bob Goff: “LOVE DOES.”//